Showing our love to those in our life can sometimes be challenging. How many times have you “complained” that your spouse didn’t spend enough time with you or help out around the house? How often have you wanted to connect with a friend and felt better for the time you spent together? Have you run into times when you would reach out to give someone a hug or to hold onto their hand for a moment and they quickly pulled away OR you are waiting for the affirmation that you are awesome?
These types of occurrences happen quite often. The reason? We come from our “me” spot; meaning: when we want to show someone that we care or love them, we tend to show them in the way that is easiest for us….in our own Love Language. Gary Chapman, author of The Five Love Languages, states “Each of us has our own primary way in which we accept love and affection from others, most people tend to show others love using their own love language instead of the love language of their loved one.”
15 years ago I went to a love language seminar and discovered that I had been showing love to my husband in my love language…no wonder we had communication problems. I didn’t understand why we had discord when I expressed words of affirmation to him. That was all well and good, it was kind….but he didn’t understand how much I loved and appreciated him because I wasn’t communicating it to him in his language.
My love language is words of affirmation. There is nothing that builds me up and shows me love more than affirmations from my loved ones. Robert, however is quality time. Spending time together, just hanging out…doing anything, affirms that Robert is loved. In this case, he thought just by spending time with me that I would feel loved. This wasn’t the case. Robert and I were miscommunicating love, BIG TIME!
The same goes for our children. Figuring out the love language of my boys at such a young age and expressing this to them, allowed us to build a strong mom/son relationship AND most importantly, they knew they were loved beyond a shadow of a doubt.
Fill up your loved one’s tank by expressing your love for them in THEIR love language.
The 5 love languages are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Receiving Gifts
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
Some will know instinctively their love language just by looking at the list. I did, but took the test anyway and became aware that Acts of Service was a close second.
It is a fun and intriguing exercise; to figure out the language of those closest to you. Check out Gary Chapman’s book, The 5 Love Languages or go online and take the test at http://www.5lovelanguages.com
It isn’t easy to adopt the expression of your loved ones love language when your own love language comes so naturally. This is the moment when we step outside our “me” spot and put the other person first. See life from their perspective. This is right in line with The 5th Agreement by Don Miguel Ruiz and Don Jose Ruiz. It is up to us to be discerning and respectful of another’s desires and needs.
For greater detail AND to see how you can EMBRACE your body and soul through your own love language join me Tuesday June 10th at our monthly renewal meet-up in Flower Mound OR hang out with me on a FREE Webinar Thursday June 12th at 7:00pm CT. Register here for the FREE Renewal Meet-up or Register here for the Free Webinar.
Enjoy your Journey!